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Joke of the Day

"[dinner at brother's house] ""So where are the kids?"" Brother: I grounded them. *spits out meatloaf*"

"I hate it when I'm trying to discreetly pick a wedgie in public and inadvertently end up doing every dance routine from Spice World."

"The term ""Every 60 second in Africa..."" is stupid Everyone knows Africains don't get seconds. They're lucky if they get a single serving."

"I'm not only glad that toothpaste was invented I'm enamelled by it."

"In my 32 years this is what I've learned about women: 1.) ""No"" means no 2.) ""Maybe"" means no 3.) ""Yes"" means maybe"

"What happened to Donald Trump when he travelled to Switzerland? He Felt the Bern"

"Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth."

"You don't have to be Crazy to be my friend!........But it sure helps!"

"Twitter's new ""local"" feature tells me that ""goodmorning"" and ""nowthatsghetto"" are trending here in Washington. Wow. This is a game-changer."

"What did the overly excited gardener do when spring arrived? He wet his plants."