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Joke of the Day

"-I love you Juan. -I love you too bae , lets make love. -Im afraid. -But why bae? -what if I get pregnant? - I can promise you that wont happen Fernando."

"I get a lot of compliments on my stamp collection but philately will get you nowhere."

"She was a no-nonsense, high powered executive who played hard but never had time for love. He was a dog who thought he was people."

"My teacher said, ""Are you chewing gum?"" I said, ""Do I look like chewing gum to you?"""

"What do you call a book case hogging all the books? Shelf-ish"

"What did the police say to the guy hiding in the bathroom? Come out with your pants up!"

"I'm reading a book about sufferers of tourettes syndrome... I want to know what makes them tic."

"Q: How many believable competent ""just right for the job"" presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: It's going to be a dark 4 years isn't it?"

"As a baby I took my son Caden to the park. Other kids there were Aiden Jayden Brayden & Ben. The parents that named Ben should get an award."

"What do you call having sex with someone with herpes? *A bumpy ride*"