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Joke of the Day

"-I love you Juan. -I love you too bae , lets make love. -Im afraid. -But why bae? -what if I get pregnant? - I can promise you that wont happen Fernando."

"Nice guys finish last. But thats because practice makes perfect."

"A wolf in a river didn't know w(h)ere it was, so it how-led and an owl ""who'd"" back. The wolf replied ""What?"""

"I have a six figure salary.. $000,000 It's not much, but it's honest work"

"Marriage is like Comcast. Frustrating as hell and once a month you get screwed."

"Doctor: Any cancer in the family? Me: My mom is a Sagittarius, but I'll have to check on everyone else. Doc: ..."

"I put the D in Fucking because I know that's what you really want. -autocorrect"

"I found a stray cat. I looked at its collar and saw a phone number. I thought, ""No wonder your family disowned you, you fucking slut."""

"-Babe, I can't find the condom, what if we don't use it? -Sure, I'm ready to be a mother anyways. -No, no. Look, I found it!"

"My friend Richard is protesting against the unjust treatment of Gorillas Dick's out for Harambe."