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Joke of the Day

"Mom! Mom! I'm pregnant!! Oh God, honey, where was your head at?! Ummm against the passenger door, I think"

"Me: Congrats! I heard you got married again Her: Sorry I didn't invite you. It was a small ceremony Me: Its ok. I'll go to your next one"

"can't believe Jesus was born on Christmas and died on Easter, what are the odds? still, he accomplished a lot for a four month year old."

"I like my women like I like my wine... 12 years old and in the cellar"

"What movie title best fits The Flash's sex life? The Fast and the Furious."

"We all exist due to a radioactive explosion that formed the universe and with endless posibilities... ...you're sitting on your computer reading jokes on the internet."

"Why does the French Military install rearview mirrors on their tanks? So that they can see the battle."

"Did you hear about the guy who ate his trousers? He pooped his pants!"

"A man tells a joke with no punchline"

"On Mondays I like to reply to all my bosses emails with 'unsubscribe'"