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Joke of the Day

"Mom! Mom! I'm pregnant!! Oh God, honey, where was your head at?! Ummm against the passenger door, I think"

"U know ur self esteem is low when a girl rejects you and u completely agree with them and support their decision."

"Damn, it feels good to be a gangster. Or going to a 7am meeting where my client will ream my ass and I'll just suck up to him. Whatever."

"What has eyes but can't see? Hellen Keller"

"Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O."

"What do fat chicks do in the summer? Stink."

"I wear gasoline for cologne because b*tches love money."

"I don't know why everyone loves blow jobs so much They taste soo shitty"

"What's long and hard? The sock under my bed."

"They discovered a new mummy in an Egyptian pyramid. He was found wrapped in chocolate and golden foil. They believe his name is Pharaoh Rocher."