197843

Joke of the Day

"I won $3 million on lottery this weekend. I decided to donate a quarter of it to Charity Now I have $2,999,999.75"

"Why is Jesus so bad at hockey? Because he keeps getting nailed to the boards!"

"My skills Precision. Concentration. Patience. Fearlessness. Four skills I possess while shaving my nuts that I wish I could apply to other aspects of my life."

"My social outings consist of the ""maybe attending"" events I never attend on Facebook."

"What do you call the 72 virgins that Allah gave isis? Goats"

"Supply drops I was going to tell a joke about supply drops, but you wouldn't get it."

"Just once I want to see a marathon winner cross the finish line and immediately fire up a cigarette."

"Well, I just broke my personal best time by wearing a white shirt 13 minutes before getting a stain on it."

"Have You Ever Taken a Bus? WELL THEY WANT IT BACK!!!!!!"

"This guy at the bar yells in my face ""Have you been sleeping with my wife?!""... I said ""No, she's always awake when I'm over there"""