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Joke of the Day

"""Could you not joke about tragedies?"" my friend once said to me. Studies show that 9 out of 11 people find these kind of jokes to be offensive."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Dismembered"

"What if I never *dramatic pause* sleep *dramatic pause* a- *falls asleep during third dramatic pause*"

"What animals were last to leave the ark ? The elephants as they had to pack their trunks !"

"I found a new way of making popcorn... just give an ear a baby"

"Sometimes I want to get married just so I can have something sad to tweet about."

"6 year old: Daddy, what if the plane goes down? Me: Don't worry, your mom is with us. She never goes down. 6 year old: What? Me: Want candy?"

"I haven't always believed in climate change But I'm warming up to the theory."

"North Korean civilians have been playing the Hunger Games since the 1950s."

"What do you call people who use the pull out method as form of birth control? Parents."