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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face"

"Ya know, my dick was in the Guinness Book of World Records once... Wasn't for very long though. Librarian told me to put the book down and get the fuck out before she called the cops."

"Borderline Crazy!!! A passenger plane crashes on the border of Tanzania and Kenya. Where are the survivors buried?"

"I wonder if girls got mad on dates in the 1700's because guys kept checking their treasure maps."

"My therapist raped me. Who can I talk to about that?"

"I'm going to open a building that functions as a sperm bank as well as a urine analysis center. It'll be called ""coming or going""."

"I raise the bar when it comes to lowering standards."

"What's the one car that gingers can't have? A Kia Soul."

"WW2 started from a game of telephone when Hitler said "" I hate shoes"""

"Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs? It's a baby, not a stash of heroin."