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Joke of the Day

"If you think you're having a bad day, the lady who took my order in the drive-thru asked me if my order was to go."

"Attidude Redefined for love: I can always take care of my self... But still, i want the person who can prove to me that i can't..."

"Food scientists are reportedly working on a new helium-infused dough Which is great, in case you knead to get high."

"Why did the pirate captain suddenly die? He had an an*yarr*ysm."

"Saw a black guy with seven fingers today! Turns out he was eating a kitkat....."

"What's red, white, and black all over? An American plantation."

"Anybody ever get paid to smuggle drugs in their butt? ... Cause it sounds like a dope ass job."

"Which is Better, a Cat or a Dog House? A dog house, because a cat house has no woof!"

"If somebody stops to ask me directions, I give them directions to my house. see you in twenty minutes new best friend."

"A dating site that connects Tupperware containers with lost lids."