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Joke of the Day

"Earlier today at a coffee shop, I spilled my drink all over the paper I was working on. The barista looked over and said, ""Well, essay chai tea happens."""

"Drinking Coors is like sex in a canoe It's fucking close to water"

"How does Times Square start the new year? By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! ""The audience can sing this one."""

"""Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa"" - the soundtrack to every Middle Eastern scene in every Hollywood movie."

"What's Donald Trumps favorite color? Orange"

"What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty."

"If you fall outta your car in your driveway, it's your own asphalt."

"I like my women like I like my chocolate with nuts"

"Everyone is freaking out because I brought my own gavel to court, no one knows if I'm allowed to do this, the judge is crying"

"""Honey, why are there broken condoms on the backyard?"" And that's when his wife replied shouting: ""I ALREADY TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING THE KIDS THAT!"""