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Joke of the Day

"I used to be a cleptomaniac but now that I took some medicine I feel much better"

"What does Lebron James do after winning the NBA Championship? He turns off his Xbox."

"If you think the USA can shoot down nuclear missiles fired by North Korea just remember we couldn't even have lights at the Super Bowl."

"We take it for granted today, but a single Dorito has more extreme nacho flavor than a peasant in the 1400s would get in his whole lifetime."

"I can dig graves my entire life and nobody calls me a landscaper, but i suck one dick! And they call me gay for life!"

"I once met a detective who would copy drawings of penises in his spare time. I think his name was Dick Tracey"

"How come the leader of the USSR from the 1920's to 1951 never got anything done? ...because he was always Stalin."

"Scientists have discovered what a woman wants. But she changed her mind the next second."

"60 Minutes would be a better show if they played that ticking noise the entire time."

"Who forgot his phone charger today? THIS gu"