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Joke of the Day

"Scientists have discovered what a woman wants. But she changed her mind the next second."

"ME: seen the loch ness monster? HER: it's not real M: *unzips pants* wanna bet? H: *rolls eyes* sure M: k i'll pee and then we'll google it"

"What is the smallest part of a little person? Their wee-knees!"

"Why did the peanut go to jail? He was a-roasted peanut."

"What do you call a bar in Star Wars? A space bar."

"I had a nightmare where Footloose was rebooted as many times as Spiderman."

"The man who invented the Kinder Surprise had died. The pathologist who does his autopsy is in for a treat."

"My friend recently tried to get appointed chancellor of Germany but failed. I told him he was literally worse than Hitler."

"I'm so fucking sick of you guys making Asian-lady stereotypes. Now shut up so I can get back to my nail salon."

"What is Vladimir Putins favorite food? Peaches and Krim"