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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 14 years straight."
Next Joke
"[crowded elevator] Alright I'm a little concerned about the capacity so let's all go around and say how much we weigh *gets out calculator*"
"What's Adolf Hitler's favorite letter? Not z, that's for sure."
"Show me a woman in a Tweety Bird t-shirt and I'll show you a woman who shoplifts in the grocery store."
"Perverts and dogwalkers are the only people who go through life excited for someone else to take a dump."
"What do you call a family of 8 rabbits? One rabbyte"
"GARY JOHNSON: let me debate, i wanna debate, lemme lemme MODERATOR: FINE! how will you deal with big banks JOHNSON: like...river banks, or"
"Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? She heard that the drinks were on the house."
"What's the difference between marmalade and jam? You can't marmalade your cock up your girlfriends ass."
"If you're ever wondering what I'm thinking, there's about a 96% chance I'm thinking about what & when I'm going to eat next."