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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between marmalade and jam? You can't marmalade your cock up your girlfriends ass."

"I avoid all spoilers for the new Star Wars movie. I won't watch the trailers and... I refuse to watch the movie itself as to stay spoiler free for the rest of my life."

"Why did cavemen pull their women around by their hair? Because if they had pulled them by their feet they would have filled up with mud"

"Einstein came up with a theory about space... and it was about time too!"

"[hospital] DOCTOR: Your wife signed a DNR ME: I'm here for a sprained ankle DOCTOR: She insisted"

"What did the pilot who fail flying school did when he went home? Got high."

"Did you know Kurt Cobain's gun was named Success? It went right to his head."

"FYI - so it IS illegal to put a skylight on the 5th floor of an 8th floor apartment building"

"When a dish comes out of the dishwasher still dirty, I just put it back in for another round, because I believe in second chances."

"I remember my first crush..: Orange."