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Joke of the Day

"We built this city on rock n roll, bits of hair, couple of pieces of carpet we found. It's a horrible place to live honestly."

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"I've heard that Americans don't find paedo jokes funny Guess they're just a bit touchy"
"I once tried starting a private airline business But it never took off"
"Him: You're married? Me: Well, it's Thursday. So, yeah. Him: What about on Friday? Me: Depends how Thursday goes."
"What do you call a monkey terrorist? A Baboom!"
"When I was a kid I was full of piss and vinegar... Now I'm just pissin' vinegar."
"Me:Everything you know about me is a lie.Coworker:So you didnt dance naked in the fountain at the mall?Me: Everything other than that."
"When I die, can you do me a favor and tell my wife that I loved her? Thanks. Oh and delete my tweets. My password is thisbitchiskillingme."
"What do you call two women in a canoe? Fur traders!"
"Why won't the ocean let us drink its water? Because it's too salty."