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Joke of the Day

"I killed my wife because I heard mourning sex was so great."

"A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer Bartender replies ""For you, no charge""."

"What do you call a fast clothes maker? Taylor Swift! Made up by my nine year old :)"

"Best Way To Impress a Girl.. Boy To Gym Coach: ""I Wanna Impress Cute Girl, I'm Gonna Meet In 3 Days Which Machine Should I Use?"" Coach: ""Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"""

"""I decided I wanted to be a ninja so I googled ""Ninja School"", followed the link and the page could not be found. Well played, Ninja School"""

"no, no-- i'm pro-life only until the baby is born. after that the baby must exist in a hellworld of preventable disease and gun violence"

"Lady at the door asked if I'd found Jesus and I was all HOW IS HE MISSING, IT WAS YOUR DAY TO WATCH HIM. I don't think she'll be back."

"I decided I am going to be a virgin... so that I can set a good example for my children"

"How many homeless people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. Homeless people don't screw in light bulbs; they screw in cardboard boxes."

"I really hate when people only put one word in their submissions title"