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Joke of the Day

"How many homeless people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. Homeless people don't screw in light bulbs; they screw in cardboard boxes."

"I think my cat is a communist. He keeps saying ""Mao"""

"Nothing says ""I'm a shitty parent but at least I'm rich"" like giving your 2 year old an iPad."

"You know what they say. Once you go Mac.... you find out your dads dead. RIP Steve Jobs :("

"What do you get when you mix human DNA with zebra DNA? Well, kicked out of the zoo for starters."

"Why dont applebees employees wear watches? Cuz theres a clock on the microwave"

"Where do vampires learn to suck blood? Law School."

"I will not be giving shelter to any men in my bunker after the apocalypse only women, and there is a dress code.... #Doomsday2012"

"A man has been shot with a starting pistol... The police are pretty sure it's race related."

"If your ex is dropping subtle hints drop bigger hints. Like a toaster in a bathtub."