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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a penis and a sleeping bag? One you crawl in and the other crawls in you."

"Ian: ""I'd like to report my guide dog missing."" Cop: ""Right. When did you last see him?"" Ian: ""I've never seen him."""

"People who are afraid of pedophiles need to grow up"

"Why do women love men who work with Horses? Because those men have got Stable jobs."

"Every time you put on a jean jacket your middle name changes to ""jean jacket"" on your birth certificate."

"If Santa knows who's being bad, maybe he could have given us a heads-up during the early planning stages of the Holocaust."

"Why don't violists get stressed? Because they have nothing to fret about!"

"the numa numa man just bougt a $70million house and im here at the library trying to photocopy a fruit roll up"

"Did you hear about the 80 year old man who ran naked through the flower show? ...he won first place for a dried arrangement!"

"*pretends to get electrocuted when I shake your dad's hand for the first time*"