19671

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping tom? [NSFW] A pick pocket snatches watches."

"I thought a vasectomy would prevent me from having babies. But all it does is change the color of my babies."

"Twitter is awesome. You can have a boyfriend right in your phone. Available at all times. Unless his wife's around."

"When I make math jokes, I try to appeal to the lowest common denominator... The problem is that with you lot I usually end up dividing by zero. /mathburn!"

"Me and my best friend reverse our cars everywhere together. We go back a long way."

"One problem I had with Catholicism as a child was... all the sexy priests."

"Maybe you owe the rhythm some money and that's why it's trying to get you. WE DON'T KNOW!"

"A co-worker of mine vocally disapproved with my proposal to ban pyrotechnics in nightclubs... I told her to give her rebuke a rest."

"Special shout out to the CIA, who were pouring cold water on people BEFORE the ""ice bucket challenge"" made it cool"

"How many I.T. workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? none, just upgrade to windows"