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Joke of the Day
"One problem I had with Catholicism as a child was... all the sexy priests."
Next Joke
"Me: I found this in the fridge with your name on it. Are you gonna eat it? CW: That's my stapler Me: You didn't answer my question"
"The world has gotten so politically correct that I don't know what is appropriate to throw at a crying baby in a restaurant anymore."
"The cops came to my door to give me a ticket for a dog at large. They say he was chasing a kid on a bike. I said, ""that's not true, my dog can't ride a bike."""
"[1st Row at Beyonce Concert] Beyonce: Who run da world?! *points mic at me* ME: [having briefly heard the song once before] ...squirrels?"
"Did you hear the one about Bernie Sanders? Probably not, the /r/politics mods deleted it before anyone saw."
"I'm actually a really nice guy once you get to blow me."
"I like to hide condom wrappers in my married friends pockets."
"if the sun is such a cool and great star then why do all the other stars leave when it shows up"
"If you're a guy and you shave your legs... you might aswell go all the way and shave your pussy."