1577

Joke of the Day

"Twitter is awesome. You can have a boyfriend right in your phone. Available at all times. Unless his wife's around."

"4: can you whistle? M: *whistles* 4: Here's a booger. M:... 4: Keep it forever. Have kids they said. It'll be fun they said. Liars."

"Life Pro Tip: Putting your phone in airplane mode will stop ads while you play."

"Me: so I've been a little unclear regarding everything you've asked me to do since Monday Boss: Jesus Me: let me finish. In February. 2011."

"Why did the dog mistake the dog catcher for a grape? He was colour-blind."

"Why did the frat boy throw away his curtains? He was trying to get some Natural Light."

"Breast Inplants They such a silly-con"

"""Thats a killer dirt bike you've got, man!"" *dirt bike holds a knife to your throat* Believe me...I know."

"If I was the editor of Vogue, I'd just put an actual skeleton on the cover with the headline, ""Feel bad yet? You should, Fatty."""

"I was going to make a joke about UDP... ...but I'm not sure if you will get it!"