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Joke of the Day
"I like the way your medication thinks."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend asked if I wanted to fast today and I thought she said fist. As a result, she was not amused and she may be pressing charges."
"I got a new vacuum that sucks so much, it was directed by M. Night Shamalayan"
"the 10,000 hours rule is simpley not true i hav said ""helo bird"" to a bird for over 10,000 hours but i still cam't talk to birds"
"my girlfriend went to slip into something more comfortable six months ago which makes me wonder how comfortable you can possibly be"
"How is a banana peel on the sidewalk like music? If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat."
"My parents let me watch Grease constantly when I was a kid & then they were all, whoa why is our teenager always super drunk in tight pants?"
"Haters gonna hate. Procrastinaters gonna ... get back to you on that tomorrow..."
"What is a caveman's favourite audio compression algorithm? OGG"
"A new study shows twitter is more addictive than crack. A scientist who looks suspiciously like my wife said ""better put down that phone."""