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Joke of the Day

"What did the alcoholic say to the bartender? ""You know, I only beat my wife once in a Blue Moon."

"When I was a kid I prayed every night for a new bicycle Then I learned the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness instead edit: woohoo #1"

"What's the top song by the Vietnamese Beatles? Rice Fields Forever."

"I wish there was some way to get rid of the stupid apple in this caramel apple."

"Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe"

"I see Paris, I see France, I got a great new pair of binoculars from an overpriced sporting goods store today"

"Why do farts smell so bad? So the deaf can enjoy them too."

"Even in the Olympics, women's basketball is un-watchable."

"Why did the Romans build straight roads ? So their soldiers didn't go around the bend !"

"I feel like Neil deGrasse Tyson would be the most annoying person in the world to watch Space Jam with"