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Joke of the Day
"I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me."
Next Joke
"Finally found a house! We couldn't afford it and it wasn't for sale, but we just murdered the owners and took it anyway. Happy Columbus Day!"
"Have you tried locking him in your trunk?"
"You just HAD to let snakes and spiders on the Ark, didn't you Noah? Way to go, man. Way. To. Go."
"You know pterodactyls' don't make noise right? Even the P is silent."
"Sharks would look awesome with mustaches, but evolution said no. Cause evolution is a dick."
"What does a baker say when he/she makes a mistake? ""Dough!"""
"Removing make-up or as I like to say, Resetting face to factory settings."
"I once walked out of a movie because the actor's fake typing was so bad."
"The waiter came up to our table. He said, ""Can I take your order?"" I said, ""Sure."" He said, ""Thanks, I'm just really hungry."""