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Joke of the Day

"Removing make-up or as I like to say, Resetting face to factory settings."

"Text 'ANYTHING' to 'Any Number' to donate $5 to your service provider if you have no texting plan."

"Rhetorical is still a word, right?"

"*BUSTS DOWN DOOR* *Fires off jokes* *Kidnappers helpless in laughter* ""..and that's how your granpappy saved baby Jesus."" - Me, someday"

"A friend of mine told me he gets terrible stage fright... ...I thought he was taking the piss but he really wasn't."

"What do insects learn at school ? Mothmatics !"

"How can you tell if a Finnish guy likes you? He's staring at your shoes instead of his own."

"OMG, he's almost here. How's my hair? My clothes? How do I look? (knock, knock) He's here!!!! I'm so excited! *My pizza delivery guy."

"Never yell about your hatred towards black eyes at a NAACP convention."

"This Independence Day please remember that fireworks are not a toy, they are meant to be aimed at the nearest British ship."