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Joke of the Day

"Finally found a house! We couldn't afford it and it wasn't for sale, but we just murdered the owners and took it anyway. Happy Columbus Day!"

"what do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! :D"

"The total of the food we had was a bit dark... Because we had ""Dim Sum""."

"How do you pick up a jew? Dust pan and brush"

"What did the cat say when it was wrongfully accused of a crime and sent behind bars? ""Let Meowt!!!!"""

"A woman is in an abusive relationship. She's talking to her friend one day. Her friend asks, ""Why do you stay with him?"" She replies, ""Beats me!"""

"What did the first lesbian vampire say to the second lesbian vampire? See you next month."

"Q: Where does an Irish person go on a vacation? A: A new bar"

"A sadist and a masochist are talking. The masochist says, ""Hit me!"" The sadist says, ""No."""

"What do you call a happy dolphin? Endorphin"