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Joke of the Day

"What's fast and breathes fast underwater? Definitely not a toddler, I can tell you that now."

"I introduced my friend to my first wife. She said she was actually going to divorce me if I kept calling her that."

"What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom? If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy?"

"Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: Why should I bother? It's probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway."

"ESA to release second probe ""SHIO"" to 67P The ""Philae-Shio"" team will be sucking in 67P's particles and spitting out information to be sent back to ESA for examination."

"I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer but no one will do it."

"And Grandmother, what a big thighs you have! *Wolf just starts crying*"

"Two Jews walk into a bar... And try to think of more ""fine"" ideas to fuck up the Internet."

"Did you know there is one colour that can time travel? It can only go to the fuchsia."

"NO MORE READING! Yesterday I was reading this article in the newspaper about all the danger of alcohol. It scared the crap out of me!!! So that's it - from this day forward, NO MORE READING!"