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Joke of the Day

"I introduced my friend to my first wife. She said she was actually going to divorce me if I kept calling her that."

Next Joke
 
"[Heart: Tell her her eyes are windows into eternity, filled with fire... Brain: Beacons, stars in a vast darkness] Mouth: HEY GREAT EYEBALLS"
"What do you calll a woman that people sit on ? Cher !"
"Why isn't there a neutron mod in the Skyrim Steam Workshop? Because there'd be no charge."
"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish."
"Why is Oliver North like Kraang? They both love using the shredder."
"Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? If it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan!"
"What is the opposite of Karen Carpenter and John Denver duo? Two Live Crew"
"Why can't a storm trooper get a girl pregnant? Because they always miss their target!"
"I will marry the next person who just shows up here with a container of hummus."