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Joke of the Day

"Your wife and your lawyer are drowning, you have a decision to make.... Fish or chicken for dinner?"

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"Do people who own guns walk around the house with them and pretend they're Black & Decker power drills?"
"Planning to edit the three Hobbit movies into one watchable movie. Should I use Instagram or Vine?"
"My sex life has improved so much I'm thinking of asking someone else to join me..."
"just saw a church sign that says, ""santa claus never died for anyone."" and i'm like, ""okay well jesus never brought me a barbie dreamhouse."""
"What's a ghost's favorite type of car? A Booghati"
"I like my women like I like my men. That's the joke. I'm bi."
"You can fart openly as long as you're always holding a whoopee cushion."
"If I had an ice cream truck, it would turn into a regular truck in about a half hour."
"""Good luck with your little skits!"" -Shakespeare's mom."
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