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Joke of the Day

"What did the Indian child say to his mother before he left for school? Mumbai!"

"What did Shakespeare ask his doctor when he was afraid he had tuberculosis? TB or not TB, that is the question."

"It's funny when my wife gives me the silent treatment'. Because she thinks it's a punishmen"

"[At the job interview] ""Why did you leave your last job?"" ""They took a vote."""

"I saw two guys having a fight on the train. So, being a bouncer, I dealt with the situation accordingly. I just stood there looking like a cunt."

"Why do shower heads have 11 holes? Cause Jews only have ten fingers."

"*A group of cannibals eating a pie* This is amazing, what did you do different? ""Well, I used fresh Barry's"""

"Why did sumo wrestlers start shaving their legs? To stop getting confused as feminists"

"Me: ""I'd like to pay by card."" Waiter: ""Contactless?"" Me: ""No, you can cuddle me."""

"I was chatting with this cute 14 y/o online She said she was an undercover police officer. How cool for someone her age!"