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Joke of the Day

"I was offered a part in a silent film. I'm speechless."

"Uma Thurman's eyes are so wide apart...... she can accurately measure the distance to the moon using parallax."

"What is a duck's favorite drug? Quack. Girlfriend came up with it. It was so bad it was good."

"Can we all stop pretending that alcohol tastes good?"

"There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately no pun in ten did."

"Why is North America so salty? Because its Na."

"Just stepped on the scale. Now I have to replace a broken window and add $467 to the curse word jar."

"My coworker just took a broom and pole vaulted over the cubicle partition to confront the woman who accused her of being on speed."

"Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. No two. No... How many do we have on the truck?"

"With all this media coverage about the clowns... I'll be so glad when the election is over."