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Joke of the Day

"Saw two construction workers laughing today... I know what they were really building, friendship"

"My thoughts are as pure as snow... after the trucks have driven hard and plowed through it."

"My roommate says I have schizophrenia Jokes on him! I don't have a roommate"

"Having a tan is attractive. Having skin sponsored by Doritos isn't."

"Just saw a poor girl crying in the library, devastated about something. So I pulled up a chair, leaned in and said ""You can shut up or go outside, I've got an exam tomorrow""."

"Always note whether a politician is wearing a lapel pin of a flag, as they are the only way to display patriotism."

"I hate reality shows. Like this one, for instance, called ""The News."""

"All Lives Matter ...until you multiply them by the speed of light squared. Then all lives energy."

"""DOES ANYONE KNOW CPR?"" I step forward boldly. ""I know OF it."""

"What's the difference between a beaver and a deer? The deer has a bigger beaver"