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Joke of the Day

"My roommate says I have schizophrenia Jokes on him! I don't have a roommate"

"You know what's funny? Redditors read these jokes no matter what the title"

"A blonde walks into a doctor's office and says, Doc, I'm horribly sick! The doctor looks at her and asks, flu? No, I drove here."

"Is it bad to feel the need to finish off prescription drugs before they expire? I don't have most of these ailments but they were expensive"

"If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes."

"""Doctor, Doctor... I've had diarrhea for 3 days, and I think it might be hereditary"" ""Hereditary? What makes you think it's hereditary?"" ""It's in my jeans"""

"My wife wants me to be her sexual advisor She said:""if I want your fucking opinion I'll ask for it"""

"*wakes up drenched in sweat* WAS BINGO THE FARMER OR THE DOG?"

"Imagine if Trump becomes President and we are invaded by aliens. Alien: Take us to your leader. America: *Looks ashamed* Are you sure?"

"What did the ghost say on December 25th? Scary Christmas!"