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Joke of the Day

"My grandpa once told me... If you want a girl to accept your proposal, you have to spend 2 months salary on a ring. I asked him, what the hell is a salary?"

"When life tosses me a football, I'm the ref who's not looking and everyone laughs when I get booped in the face"

"Marriage is like a pack of cards... Marriage is like a pack of cards: all you need at the start are two hearts and a diamond, but you end up wishing you had a club and a spade..."

"Man boobs, man perm, man purse. If you have to identify something by saying the gender, it probably shouldn't exist. Sorry if this is a bad joke I just got bored watching the WNBA."

"Have you ever tried sky diving without a parachute? It's a once in a lifetime experience"

"The Russian Army Q: Ho you Hld you -47 when running aay fro nuclea blast? A: On far stretched out hands coad, so the hot , fro the gun does not dip on s oned shoes!"

"For once my family is going to have a Happy Thanksgiving. This year I'm stuffing the turkey with Prozac."

"Why did the Irish Football manager flood the pitch ? So he could bring his 'sub' on"

"A thing I learned at this week's staff meeting is that I have restless leg syndrome when I sleep."

"If I work as a janitor at an office, does that mean that every time I change a lightbulb I climb the corporate ladder?"