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Joke of the Day

"*wife wonders where I am* *hears every musical snowman in the store start singing* *knows where I am*"

"Why did the angry Jedi cross the road? To get to the Dark Side."

"Lock an astronomer in a basement... and they'll go star craving mad."

"Georgie Porgie puddin 'n pie, jerked off on his girlfriend's eye, when her eye was all stuck shut, Georgie fucked that one eye slut!"

"How can you make a slow horse fast? Don't give him any food."

"Bill Cosby and Charlie Sheen walk into a bar... tender girl who later reports them to the police for sexual harrasment."

"It only takes a few seconds to express our true feelings. Unfortunately police call it murder."

"Have you ever been in a Schindler's Lift? If you have, then did you ever feel that it could have carried more people?"

"Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup? It's fly soup sir!"

"My school janitor is a part-time pianist. He has 88 keys."