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Joke of the Day

"6 months ago my doctor gave me 6 months to live. But when I couldn't pay my bill today, he decided to give me another 6 months."

"What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter."

"Where do you get a drink on Excel? ....Formula bar"

"How do you think the unthinkable? Hit an itheberg."

"I'm reading a book on evolution... The beginning wasn't great, but it's getting better over time."

"What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his viagra? ""The erection is rigged!"""

"Where do elephants keep their reproductive organs? On their feet because when they step on you, you're fucked."

"Cleaning out my handbag. Wondering if nine pens are enough."

"Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed."

"Hospitals don't like it when you unplug things to charge your phone w/ out asking first"