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Joke of the Day

"Leonardo da Vinci's painting The Last Supper depicts all apostles and Jesus sitting on one side of the table. There must have been a show and karaoke."

"For your anniversary, if your wife asks for something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds...don't get her a bathroom scale. Nope."

"Today is the 20th anniversary of the genocide in Rwanda, but first... let me take a selfie."

"What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison."

"How many members of Linkin Park does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, cuz in the end it doesn't even matter!!!"

"Who called them fake potatoes and not imitaters."

"Hung like Einstein smart as a horse... Thanks dad."

"Your life is like a box of chocolates It will kill your dog."

"There has to be a line where 9/11 jokes aren't funny anymore... For me it's somewhere around the 70th floor. I'm sorry, I know that was terrible. I'll see myself out."

"Hope you don't mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions."