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Joke of the Day

"You can never trust an atom because they make up everything"

"Unless you're a direct descendent of a horse, don't chew with your mouth open."

"Make a friend today. Give a complete stranger a big, long hug. If they happen to get mad, tell the police a guy on twitter said you could."

"I was in bed with the wife the other night and she said if I turned the bedside light out she'd take it up the arse... Maybe I should have let it cool down a bit first."

"I was sitting in the library... I was sitting in the library when a black guy came up to me, asking ""Where are the colored printers?"" I said ""Dude... it's 2014, you can use whichever printer you want"""

"Dark humour is like food Not everyone gets it"

"My friend is not a member of an organized political party He's a Democrat."

"Drummer's joke I texted my old band today saying I miss playing music. They replied with ""What's new? You missed playing, when you were with us, man!"""

"Why are white girls so odd? Because they ""can't even!"""

"T Rex isnt so scary if you imagine a bunch of baby T Rexes watching Barney just giggling and rolling around on the ground playing with keys."