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Joke of the Day
"A woman is like a fine wine: they are 70% water"
Next Joke
"People act surprised when I tell them my grandfather survived the holocaust. Most of the guards survived didn't they?"
"Let me tell you about the first time I had sex... I was scared, it was dark, and I was alone."
"Crime tip: commit all your crimes in space NASA is not the space police there are no laws up there you will not go to jail"
"Scariest thing ever The scariest thing in the world is waking up with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. I was so scared I almost swerved off the road!"
"Why married guys are fat A single guy opens the fridge, sees nothing interesting there; he goes to bed. A married guy goes in the bedroom, sees nothing interesting there; he goes to the fridge."
"The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth."
"I found out today why my father never came home from the store.. The store had a no-return policy"
"What is it called when a thief steals a purse, runs into the street, then gets run over? *Car*ma"
"Mid-'90s joke I just made up: Steven Tyler made a new version of Dude Looks Like A Lady... it goes ""Dude looks like his daughter!"""