195517

Joke of the Day

"Almost that time of year, again. Deer gun season, or as the deer call it, the annual holocaust."

"Have you ever hit a man with glasses? No. A 2by4 works much better."

"It's like my golf instructor thinks I'm mature enough to handle him talking about balls, and how to properly grip the club."

"I'm scheduled for a vasectomy next Wednesday, but I am a little worried. I hear it can make a vas deferens in my sex life."

"Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian? A: Because she loved children."

"To be a good dentist... ...you must think laterally and incisively."

"Mary Rose sat on a pin Mary rose"

"I like running up to kids, punching a puppy in the face and screaming ""WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?"" And that's my long-term solution to religion."

"What did Allen Ginsberg say upon being intoduced to Lawrence Ferlinghetti? Howl do you do ?"

"Q: Why does Michael J. Fox make such good milkshakes? A: Because he uses quality ingredients. What did you think, asshole?"