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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian? A: Because she loved children."

"What is worse than male chauvinists? Women who can't shut up!"

"I said I was sorry three times looking in the mirror and now I'm in Canada"

"If your Dad leaves, just act like you're installing a new screen door. All the Dads of the neighborhood will gather round. Pick your new Dad"

"If you're going through Hell, keep going."

"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain Bolt can finish off a race."

"If you want to hide your face, go out naked."

"Did you see the new clock porno? It's about fucking time."

"What's one thing a woman can never say no to? Rape."

"*early humans discovering sleepiness* noooo!! what is this, im shutting down? dying??? *waking up later* wow, i love that. gonna do it a lot"