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Joke of the Day

"I like running up to kids, punching a puppy in the face and screaming ""WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?"" And that's my long-term solution to religion."

"Prank caller: Is your refrigerator running? Me: Of course. Can't have these bodies at room temperature"

"Why is the bat-boy the luckiest guy on the baseball team? Because when he grows up he will be Batman."

"Grandma: can you call out the bingo numbers? Me: idk i've never done it B4 Gma: holy shit you're a natural"

"Rihanna says, ""chains & whips excite me."" I doubt her ancestors felt the same way..."

"Why did god invent the yeast infection? So women would know what it's like living with an irritating cunt."

"How do you pick up women in Waco, Texas? With a DustBuster."

"What do you call a Winston using his Jetpack?? A Boosted Animal"

"If you leave your house with one leg, that's going out on a limb."

"I really, really need to stop eating clocks It is very time consuming"