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Joke of the Day

"Got a christmas card with rice in it It was from uncle ben"

"We all know the old saying ""I named my dick 'The Truth' cause bitches can't handle it..."" I call mine ""The Plea Bargain"" cause ladies only take it as a last resort."

"What disease do neckbeard mosquitos give you? M'laria."

"[getting car jacked] umm i know i'm supposed to resist and all but if we don't cooperate we're both gonna miss McDonalds breakfast so hop in"

"Where do calculus students go when they are sick? To L'Hopital."

"What can a cup of coffee and a cow that's had an abortion have in common? They're both de-calf-inated."

"I came up with a great joke about a boomerang but I forgot it. I'm sure it'll come back to me."

"What's the difference between a Mexican and a park Bench? The bench can support a family."

"Are You From Boston? Because you're the bomb..."

"I thought one of the ten word-play jokes my dad told would make me laugh, but... no pun in ten did."