112030

Joke of the Day

"I thought one of the ten word-play jokes my dad told would make me laugh, but... no pun in ten did."

"I held a solipsist party at my house yesterday Everyone was there."

"I have really bad hearing & thought he said ""I love turds"" but he said ""nerds"" & now I don't know what to do with this shit in my underwear."

"What's the best way to pick up a woman? Like a sixpack"

"America, a country where people spend half of their money on food, and the other half on losing weight."

"I thought getting a vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant Turns out it just changes the colour of the baby"

"I hope I die doing something extreme like climbing Mt. Everest or telling a woman I don't like her new haircut."

"I've been running around screaming at random people that I've lost my virginity. I'm starting to regret naming my dog that."

"Decaf only works if you throw it on people."

"YOU ASKED IF YOU COULD PET HER, NOT IF SHE BITES, MEGAN."