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Joke of the Day

"What can a cup of coffee and a cow that's had an abortion have in common? They're both de-calf-inated."

"Super Mario is so unrealistic. No brother would ever help find his missing sister in law."

"""Awww. There there."" *pats you on the face. Hard"

"I know my limits: if I fell down it means enough."

"It still amazes me that you need a license to catch a fish but any asshole can be a parent."

"One farmer says to another farmer... ""You can get more sales out of your crops by canning."" The second farmer looks and says, ""I know, I can. I can."""

"Childhood obesity is on the rise and so is underage sex.. What I want to know is who's fucking all these fat kids."

"To get to the other side"

"What's a gothic persons blood made of? Emoglobin"

"Where did Lisa go during the bombardment.. Everywhere"