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Joke of the Day

"How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool? ""Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!"""

"What did the bad soccer announcer get in his stocking? COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!"

"Pouring water on someone's head to promote something is kinda weird. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let's go baptize some babies."

"Boob Size Grades A ---> Almost Boobs B ---> Barely there C ---> Can't Complain! D ---> Damn! DD ---> Double damn! E ---> Enormous! F ---> Fake G ---> Get a reduction!"

"Last week I walked up to Wayne Rooney at the airport and said,""How about an autograph mate?"" ""Sure."" He replied. So I signed a photo print of myself and gave it to him."

"One mans trash... ""One man's rubbish is another man's treasure"" is a fantastic Idiom. But it's a horrible way to tell your kid that he's adopted."

"What did the Spanish boy leaving for the city say to his father? Ciudad!"

"ESA to release second probe ""SHIO"" to 67P The ""Philae-Shio"" team will be sucking in 67P's particles and spitting out information to be sent back to ESA for examination."

"What is Hitler's favourite animal? Adolphin"

"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now"