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Joke of the Day

"I know 1 really sick joke He has been in the hospital for years."

"When does the narwhal bacon? Ellen Pao needs to resign immediately."

"Say what you will about ISIS... But you can't deny their suicide business is booming."

"Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them"

"That's the last time I buy underwear at a yard sale. I don't want to talk about it."

"If I was moments away from my death I would ask someone for a 5-hour Energy drink."

"What do you call a color that doesn't exist? A pigment of your imagination."

"Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun."

"What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu? For swine flu you need ""Oinkment"", for bird flu you need ""Tweetment""."

"How do you make a baby drink? You stick it in a blender."