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Joke of the Day

"How many redditors does it take to answer an /r/askscience question? [deleted]"

"Why did the biscuit cry? His mum had been a wafer too long."

"Just said ""No you can't have an apple because you'll spoil the pizza that's being delivered very soon."" I shouldn't be allowed to parent."

"My son walked in on me and my wife ""wrestling"" on the bed. We call it ""wrestling"" because he can't pronounce jiu-jitsu."

"It was awkward when she said, ""And yet your feet are so big."""

"People always go, ""Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?"" We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why."

"I saw your link on Facebook. What happened next will blow your mind.......I didn't open it."

"What did Adam say to Eve the first time he got an erection? ""Stand back, I don't know how big this thing is gonna get!"""

"My girlfriend broke up with me. She said ""I'm sorry, but you're just too immature."" I looked her dead in the face and said ""Get the fuck outa my treehouse!"""

"Why does Oedipus hate to swear? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth"