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Joke of the Day

"*wife grabs my wrist as I go overboard* Her: You're... slipping... Me: Pretend I'm the covers. *she easily pulls me to safety with one arm*"

"Don't tell me I can hear the ocean if I put a shell up to my ear. If he has something to say to me SAY IT TO MY FACE U PIECE OF SHIT WATER"

"I got a new car that makes a lot of noise. It's the new audi-ble"

"Writing cuss words on the white space of textbook pages is marginally offensive."

"Just a small joke Your penis"

"How many potato's does it take to kill an Irishman? None."

"There are 10 Types of People in the World... Those that understand binary...and those that don't."

"All these years and the ""insert thumb and lift"" tab on macaroni and cheese boxes is still lying to us."

"A boy was snapping rubber bands on his friends arm He kept doing it in the same spot every second, over and over again until the friend eventually said, ""Ouch, that one Hertz."""

"My mother always told me if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them."