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Joke of the Day

"Some people are very down to earth... You know, midgets."

"What did the horse get on his blood test B Neigh-getive"

"The biggest difference between mistletoe and camel toe is the length of the kiss."

"Every time I meet someone new, my girlfriend gets a slap across the face. I really need to stop high-fiving people."

"What do you call a chain of singing islands? An acapellago."

"How does an optometrist make love? Better like this ... or better like this?"

"Why are tamales a Christmas tradition? So Mexicans have something to open on Christmas"

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster chef and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks between fits."

"[NSFW] What's green, and smells like pork? Kermit the Frog's finger."

"How many absurdists does it take to change a lightbulb? Yarn."