195041

Joke of the Day

"What do my girlfriend and Jesus have in common? Not sure if either of them came once, but I know they haven't come a second time."

"Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone? **Her**: Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone? **Him**: What about the other one? **Her**: The other one is buying me a tablet."

"What did the guy with 6 children say to the guy with six felonies? I don't know; they were speaking Spanish."

"Wife: The kids opened the ""private"" drawer in my nightstand. Me: THE drawer? Wife: Yeah. Great. There go our Oreos."

"""I am out of the office. If you need immediate help please contact customer service."" ""Dude this isn't email I'm standing in front of you."""

"Geese just call them bumps."

"I wanted to make a joke about a rapper I ended up making a Big Pun"

"A ponytail so tight I look 5 years younger and everyone thinks I've been smiling all day."

"What could possibly make moviegoers forget about Will Smith's movie After Earth? A Concussion."

"Have you seen the new clear plastic bikinis? They're worth looking into."