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Joke of the Day

"A ponytail so tight I look 5 years younger and everyone thinks I've been smiling all day."

"I started a company... I started q company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof"

"What do you call someone with no body and a nose? Nobody knows"

"What do you call a criminal jazz player? Felonius Monk!"

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion ? Because he was out standing in his field :)"

"""Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."" ""Oh my god honey, what happened?"" ""I reposted the same goddamn joke too many times."""

"Two cows are in a pasture. The first cow says, ""Moo."" The second cow says, ""Damn, man... I was just about to say that!"""

"How do you make a dog meow? Put him in a wood chipper and listen to him go ""meeeooowwww"""

"I just got fired for getting beauty tips online during my lunch break! my Boss said "" Madison Ivy gets a facial"" is not a video on beauty tips."

"Girl you like is taken on Valentines Day? Just because there's a goalkeeper... It doesn't mean you can't score."